‘Fuzzy-Wuzzy’

An ‘appy day wi’ Fuzzy on the rush / will last an ‘ealty Tommy for a year …

A Sudanese Islamic fundamentalist, born in 1844 under the name of Muhammad ibn as-Sayyid, declared in 1881 his divine mission to purify Islam and assumed the title of Al-Mahdi (“the Right-Guided One”). Within less than four years he became master of the Sudan, having annihilated by 1883 three Egyptian armies. He captured Khartoum in 1885 (General Gordon who had defended it was killed in the assault) and established a vast Islamic theocratic state stretching from the Red Sea to Central Africa. He died of disease in 1885.

In October 1897 an Anglo-Egyptian army under the command of General Kitchener invaded the Sudan, and within a year destroyed the state created by the Mahdi. Along the way the British met stiff resistance from the Bejas of the Red Sea Hills, resolute followers of the Mahdi and some of the fiercest guerrilla warriors in the world. Unlike most African men, who wear their hair close-cropped, Beja wear their hair in a frizzled bush, which has inspired the “afro” hairstyle. That’s why the British soldiers pitted against them called them “Fuzzy-Wuzzies”. They also quickly gained respect for the Bejas’ fighting spirit.

The usual European tactic was to form platoons in squares, with rifles pointing in all four directions; such a square could keep fighting when surrounded, and withstand numerically superior but ill-organized forces. But the archetypal British soldier Tommy – even though organized in squares – found his match in Fuzzy-Wuzzy:

We've fought with many men acrost the seas,
	An' some of 'em was brave an' some was not:
The Paythan an' the Zulu an' Burmese;
	But the Fuzzy was the finest o' the lot.
We never got a ha'porth's change of 'im:
	'E squatted in the scrub an' 'ocked our 'orses
'E cut our sentries up at Suakim, ⁽¹⁾
	An' 'e played the cat an' banjo with our forces.
	So 'ere's to you, Fuzzy-Wuzzy, at your 'ome in the Soudan;
	You're a pore benighted 'eathen but a first-class fightin' man;
	We gives you your certificate, an' if you want it signed
	We'll come an' 'ave a romp with you whenever you're inclined.

We took our chanct among the Kyber 'ills,
	The Boers knocked us silly at a mile,
The Burman give us Irriwaddy chills,
	An' a Zulu impi dished us up in style: ⁽²⁾
But all we ever got from such as they
	Was pop to what the Fuzzy made us swaller;
We 'eld our bloomin' own, the papers say,
	But man for man the Fuzzy knocked us 'oller.
	Then 'ere's to you, Fuzzy-Wuzzy, an' the missis and the kid;
	Our orders were to break you, an' of course we went an' did.
	We sloshed you with Martinis, an' it wasn't 'ardly fair; ⁽³⁾
	But for all the odds agin' you, Fuzzy-Wuz, you broke the square.

'E 'asn't got no papers of 'is own,
	'E 'asn't got no medals nor rewards,
So we must certify the skill 'e's shown
	In usin' of 'is long two-'anded swords:
When 'e's 'oppin' in an' out among the bush
	With 'is coffin-'eaded shield an' shovel-spear,
An 'appy day wi' Fuzzy on the rush
	Will last an 'ealty Tommy for a year.
	So 'ere's to you, Fuzzy-Wuzzy, an' your friends which are no more,
	If we 'adn't lost some messmates we would 'elp you to deplore.
	But give an' take's the gospel, an' we'll call the bargain fair,
	For if you 'ave lost more than us, you crumpled up the square!

'E rushes at the smoke when we let drive,
	An', before we know, 'e's 'ackin' at our 'ead;
'E's all 'ot sand an' ginger when alive,
	An' 'e's generally shammin' when 'e's dead.
'E's a daisy, 'e's a ducky, 'e's a lamb!
	'E's an injia-rubber idiot on the spree,
'E's the on'y thing that doesn't give a damn
	For a Regiment o' British Infantree!
	So 'ere's to you, Fuzzy-Wuzzy, at your 'ome in the Soudan;
	You're a pore benighted 'eathen but a first-class fightin' man;
	An' 'ere's to you, Fuzzy-Wuzzy, with your 'ayrick 'ead of 'air -
	You big black boundin' beggar - for you broke a British square!

Notes

[1] The British garrison at the Red Sea port of Suakin was besieged and repeatedly charged by the Mahdi’s “Fuzzy-Wuzzies”.

[2] ‘Impi’ – a group of Zulu spearmen.

[3] The muzzle-loading rifles of the Fuzzy-Wuzzies were no match for the Martini-Henry .45″ breechloaders, used by the British since 1871.